Every now and then, a book appears that has such a great premise you wonder why no one has ever thought of it before. That was the feeling I got when I saw Ken Harmon’s, The Fat Man: A Tale of North Pole Noir. Doing a noir mystery set in the North Pole and starring everyone’s favorite chubby friend Santa is a brilliant idea. And you should be glad I read it, since now I can tell you to avoid it at all costs. Yes, it looks fun, but it’s not worth your time. Avoid at all costs. Why do I recommend this?
The thing of the book that really pisses me off is that there is a great book buried somewhere in here. But this isn’t it. Instead Harmon brings out every cheesy Christmas reference ever put to paper or film and brings it up to show the reader how clever he is. The only original character we get are the main elf Gumdrop Coal (who came up with the naughty list and the kids on it getting coal) and his friends. Along the way, we have another elf named Cane and a reporter named Rosebud (get it
The plot starts with Coal getting the axe from Santa (on advice of Cane) and Coal starting to see a conspiracy around him. The thought is that with no kids on the naughty list now, Santa has to work harder to make toys for more kids (who would have gotten coal) and that will run Santa so ragged that someone else can take over. And when the mystery has its false expectations set right, the plot changes and it truly seems like Harmon is just making it up as he goes along. And don’t get me started on the awfulness that is the resolution.
Avoid this book. Maybe someday, someone will take the idea and write a good book, but this isn’t it. The writing is cliched and poorly done, the plotting is mediocre at best and confusing at worst and the characters are all more plot devices that true characters. I really wanted to like this book. The basic idea is wonderful. But it was so badly done that I cannot recommend it to anyone. Not Recommended.